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Javan's Life Lessons #3 - Why you should not take your new sunglasses into the bathroom

16/06/2009 23:09

    On my trip to KC, I bought a new pair of toritise shell sunglasses. I loved them! (Notice, I did say "loved"). I have been wanting a pair of toritise shell sunglasses for a long time and I finally found a pair that I liked, and that looked good on me. Of course I bought them and was wearing them proudly on my way home on Sunday. That's when things turned downhill.

    As many of you know, me and sunglasses, do not mix. I have broken and scrathed so many pairs of sunglasses beyond repair in the last year or two alone, it's RIDICULOUS! To get the point across, I have put together and breif history of my last 10 pairs of sunglasses. . .


    10 pairs of sunglasses ago, in a state named Kansas far far away, there was a boy, who could not keep a pair of sunglasses longer than a month . . .

     Pair: Big White - My favorite pair of white sunglasses, from Pac Sun; dropped on concrete side walk, leaving them severly scratched, before braking off the earpiece

    Pair: Little blue and sophisticated - Nice, professional and sophisticated pair of sunglasses; left in mother's car, got srcated off, broke the frame (lenses, screws and all).

    Pair: White Aviatprs - Awesome for the summer, first pair of aviator sunglasses; got scratched up, before they got stepped on.

    Pair: What-was-I-Thinking - Ugly pair of circular "Willy Wonka" styled sunglasses, looking back at pictures of me in them, let's just say that loosing these is argueably the best thing to happen to me.

    Pair: Tan sophisticated - left in the net pocket in the back of my Saturn, got smashed

    Pair: Silver Aviators - Awesome pair of aviators; went to dinner with them, left without them

    Pair: Black Awesomness - one of my favorite pairs of sunglasses ever, one earpiece broke off, and they were so scrathed I couldn't see

    Pair: Fake Lacoste - Ok, I admit it, even though I complain about people wearing fake designer things, I did indeed have a pair of fake Lacoste sunglasses which were amazing, sadly I stepped on them.

    Pair: Blue Gangsta - Some awesome, fun, gangster looking sunglasses, the frame around the lense broke (WARNING: DO NOT USE PLUMBING GLUE IN AN ATTEMPT TO FIX THE FRAME OF SUNGLASSES, WILL CAUSE SEVERE BURNING TO SKIN! learning from experience).

    Pair: Black and fashionable - Another great pair, the screw came loose and the lenses fell out onto the asphault parking lot

    This puts me at my current pair, which I have had for two months (and lost at least 6 times for more than a day) and my new pair of tortise shell glasses.

    Well, I had made it almost all the way home without so much as a scratch on my new glasses (I should have known it was too good to be true). We were about 15 minutes away from home when we stopped at a McDonald's/gas station on the Turnpike to get a drink and use the bathroom.

    Naturally, I went to the bathroom first. I hung my sun glasses inbetween two buttons on my button-up shirt for safe keeping as I entered the bathroom.

    When I got to the bathroom, I found that all the urinals were in use and so I moved to one of the stalls, which was absoluetly disgusting. . . . Then all of the sudden my sunglasses fall off and to where? not the floor, but directly into the toilet.

    My natural insticts kicked and I may or may not have reached into the toilet (After I had already used it) and grabbed the sunglasses. I literally threw up in my mouth (as I am now recalling this moment).

    I then threw the sunglasses into the sink which was located at least 5 ft. away from me and sprayed water and poured soap over them until picking them up with a paper towel. I then scrubed two layers of skin off within the five minutes I washed my hands and made my way back to the car. Sadly, my appetite was ruined and I wanted to get home.

    I shoved the sunglasses under mom's seat and they are there to this day. . . I can't figure out what to do with them, the only way I will ever wear them again is if I soak them in bleach which may ruin the coloring.

EDIT: I have now lost the "current pair" I have talked about above. . .



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